At Fitzjohn Avenue. In the dining room with Jack, Mum and Gaye. It is clear Jack is about to vomit. He leans over the side of his chair and throws up on the floor. Mum watches, but makes no comment.
I go to the kitchen to get a bowl for Jack to puke in. They are all dirty. I start washing the pasta pan, but decide it is too tall and get another.
I have the idea that Jack has already died once and is now dying again.
I suspect Gaye is hurt and annoyed at me because she knows I am glad Jack is dying.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Mold
Playing online poker. One of my opponents is a girl who is "a friend for FPPs."
It is the Dating Game.
The girl and I fly together, her on my knee. I am the director of "America's Home Movies." She is flying me away from Vegas because, by court order, Vegas is the only place where I am allowed to film.
In my kitchen. I am putting together the second of two beef pot pies. I am assembling it piece by piece.
The girl says "Single for three years now. You haven't asked me."
The sink in the kitchen is overflowing. I reach for a cloth. Everything is moldy. I say that it is toxic.
A man in a park with a bundle of clothes.
At the end of an online MTT. My stack is dwindling, largely because of an aggressive player who is raising nearly every pot. His screen-name is "Thoughts."
Thoughts is all-in against one opponent on the flop. The opponent has flopped a boat. Thoughts make a bigger boat on the river. Queens full of Jacks.
It is the Dating Game.
The girl and I fly together, her on my knee. I am the director of "America's Home Movies." She is flying me away from Vegas because, by court order, Vegas is the only place where I am allowed to film.
In my kitchen. I am putting together the second of two beef pot pies. I am assembling it piece by piece.
The girl says "Single for three years now. You haven't asked me."
The sink in the kitchen is overflowing. I reach for a cloth. Everything is moldy. I say that it is toxic.
A man in a park with a bundle of clothes.
At the end of an online MTT. My stack is dwindling, largely because of an aggressive player who is raising nearly every pot. His screen-name is "Thoughts."
Thoughts is all-in against one opponent on the flop. The opponent has flopped a boat. Thoughts make a bigger boat on the river. Queens full of Jacks.
Back-seat driver
In a car. My father, Telly Savalas, is driving. A young Richard is there. My age varies.
On vacation, driving along a coastal road to visit a famous house designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. I have dreamed about this house. Or I saw it with Ray in Alabama.
Sulking. Telly stops the car. He has two movie tickets. I know the movie will be violent. I tell him from the back seat of the car that I do not want to see the movie. He gets in the back of the car behind the driver's seat. He makes a big production of the fact that he cannot reach the steering wheel from the back seat, implying I should drive. I ask him why he is being an ass.
On vacation, driving along a coastal road to visit a famous house designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. I have dreamed about this house. Or I saw it with Ray in Alabama.
Sulking. Telly stops the car. He has two movie tickets. I know the movie will be violent. I tell him from the back seat of the car that I do not want to see the movie. He gets in the back of the car behind the driver's seat. He makes a big production of the fact that he cannot reach the steering wheel from the back seat, implying I should drive. I ask him why he is being an ass.
Bookcase
A bookcase in a service elevator. On each shelf is a mix of organic material. The shelves can be slid out so that the material moves downwards to crush the well-rotted compost at the bottom.
Ants
In the yard. I run a youth hostel and Europeans are staying.
Collecting wood to burn in the fireplace. On one piece of wood some fabric has got tangled on a nail. A guest from Oslo tells me his shirt got caught. I tell him he is not the first Scandinavian to get caught up.
Checking the health of the plants. I am about to leave for Vegas. Gina has left a note asking when the plants should be watered.
I write: "If the plants wilt, water them."
I write: "If the ground is dry, water them."
The end of June. I contemplate direct-seeding lettuce and starting some indoors. I conclude whoever waters the yard is unlikely to do it well enough to nurture new seed.
In Vegas on a futon with someone's wife. We are on our backs under a comforter.
We are at a show.
We are on a beach.
To my right is a flight of steps. Showgirls walk up the steps like they have just got off stage. It amuses me that such tall women are walking past when I am laying down since it makes them appear even taller.
Standing by the woman who is sitting. She wears a yellow bikini. A lifeguard comes over and starts to make out with the woman. He stops and points to a mark below her knee. He pokes, then squeezes the mark. Ants crawl out. They are breeding under the woman's skin. The ants get larger until the Mother ant, a snakelike creature the size of a pen, comes out of the woman's leg. The woman seems unconcerned.
Collecting wood to burn in the fireplace. On one piece of wood some fabric has got tangled on a nail. A guest from Oslo tells me his shirt got caught. I tell him he is not the first Scandinavian to get caught up.
Checking the health of the plants. I am about to leave for Vegas. Gina has left a note asking when the plants should be watered.
I write: "If the plants wilt, water them."
I write: "If the ground is dry, water them."
The end of June. I contemplate direct-seeding lettuce and starting some indoors. I conclude whoever waters the yard is unlikely to do it well enough to nurture new seed.
In Vegas on a futon with someone's wife. We are on our backs under a comforter.
We are at a show.
We are on a beach.
To my right is a flight of steps. Showgirls walk up the steps like they have just got off stage. It amuses me that such tall women are walking past when I am laying down since it makes them appear even taller.
Standing by the woman who is sitting. She wears a yellow bikini. A lifeguard comes over and starts to make out with the woman. He stops and points to a mark below her knee. He pokes, then squeezes the mark. Ants crawl out. They are breeding under the woman's skin. The ants get larger until the Mother ant, a snakelike creature the size of a pen, comes out of the woman's leg. The woman seems unconcerned.
Friday, October 30, 2009
SORY SARA
By a hotel pool. Sitting with Dana in reclining chairs. Sara's husband is behind me. He talks loudly, apparently to nobody in particular, but it seems like he is doing it to make sure I hear. He says he is getting a drink for Sara, with a heavy emphasis on her name, and that Sara deserves to get drunk. This makes me angry. I get up abruptly and return to my room. I cannot remember my room number. I look at the swipe card but there is no number on it. I think my floor number is 45 or 46. I'm in an elevator that is going up but I do not know which floor we are at. The elevator seems to be malfunctioning. I observe this without anxiety. When the elevator finally stops the doors do not open initially. I feel we are at floor 46 and that this is not my floor. I get confused by the elevator buttons as I try to find and press 45. It is difficult to read the upper buttons. The doors open. I get off the elevator but I am not in a hotel corridor. I am facing a concrete wall the top of which is covered in straw. I start to slide down the wall and clutch at the straw. Again I am not anxious. As I slide downwards I notice my watch gets pulled off my left wrist and gets stuck on the top of the wall. Something is on fire.
At ground level outside the building. The pool patio is no longer by the hotel lobby. I have to walk a few blocks to get to the pool. The sky is overcast and there is snow and ice everywhere. Half way back to the pool I remember I lost my watch. "I paid for that" I say and go back to get it.
By the pool in sunshine. Dana is sunbathing in a bikini. She says "did you hit him?" I reply "No, I didn't hit him. I don't want to go to jail." I say this lightly and Dana laughs but I think to myself that I should have hit him and that I am making light of it artificially. Dana says when he was behind me talking about Sara he was looking at me, making it clear it was him and not me who is with Sara.
A psychotherapist's surgery. Brian from Family Guy tells the therapist he is in love with his best friend's wife.
Looking at the buttons in the elevator. I am trying to decipher the top one that I could not read before. It looks like 50.67. As I look closer it becomes SORY. It is written in my handwriting. I notice the symmetry between SORY and SARA.
In my house. Sara and her husband are walking across the street towards my driveway. At the sidewalk they turn left and start to walk towards 10th Street. When they are a few feet past my front path Sara separates from her husband and cuts across my front garden. She comes into the house and we start talking. Dana and Janelle are there. Sara laughs at something I say and says "How can I avoid being in a relationship with you?" I realize with mixed joy that she means she wants to be with me.
At ground level outside the building. The pool patio is no longer by the hotel lobby. I have to walk a few blocks to get to the pool. The sky is overcast and there is snow and ice everywhere. Half way back to the pool I remember I lost my watch. "I paid for that" I say and go back to get it.
By the pool in sunshine. Dana is sunbathing in a bikini. She says "did you hit him?" I reply "No, I didn't hit him. I don't want to go to jail." I say this lightly and Dana laughs but I think to myself that I should have hit him and that I am making light of it artificially. Dana says when he was behind me talking about Sara he was looking at me, making it clear it was him and not me who is with Sara.
A psychotherapist's surgery. Brian from Family Guy tells the therapist he is in love with his best friend's wife.
Looking at the buttons in the elevator. I am trying to decipher the top one that I could not read before. It looks like 50.67. As I look closer it becomes SORY. It is written in my handwriting. I notice the symmetry between SORY and SARA.
In my house. Sara and her husband are walking across the street towards my driveway. At the sidewalk they turn left and start to walk towards 10th Street. When they are a few feet past my front path Sara separates from her husband and cuts across my front garden. She comes into the house and we start talking. Dana and Janelle are there. Sara laughs at something I say and says "How can I avoid being in a relationship with you?" I realize with mixed joy that she means she wants to be with me.
Failure
In a chemistry lab. I am holding a test tube that contains a bright, blue liquid. I want to turn it green. I look at various bottles in the lab but none contain the correct chemical for the color change. A friend takes the test tube and looks around the lab. I say the color of the liquid is the same as copper sulphate.
My friend combines an acid with Tums. The mixture fizzes and turns pink. My friend leaves abruptly carrying a plastic bottle. I feel that he is going to make a bomb.
At a house in Southern California. My friend and I stand outside above a garage. A young brunette woman is with us. The owner of the house arrives in a white convertible. He is annoyed by the garage door that fails to open properly. I feel I may be held responsible for this. The frame around the door flexes and the door finally pushes through. Above the door is a flimsy wall. The man shakes the wall like he is figuring out how he will fix it. I look at the wall wobbling and say "Two or three problems could be fixed if the wall could be fixed."
Walking up Holmes Street around 60th. The man in the convertible drives up the hill. My friend drives in the same direction in another white car. I am worried my friend does not know the man is just ahead of him and that my friend will be spotted. This would be bad because my friend is still up to something. Probably the bomb.
Walking on Holmes Street with my friend and the woman. We are at a training session for teachers. I briefly put my arm around the woman's waist. She feels like someone's wife. We flirt but the union is forbidden.
In a classroom. An old teacher talks about failure and how we should not mock it. Those of us in this class are successful, but there is going to be some failure at the school that the teacher knows about but that we do not. I leave the room and walk to my first class. I realize I have no pen and paper.
My friend combines an acid with Tums. The mixture fizzes and turns pink. My friend leaves abruptly carrying a plastic bottle. I feel that he is going to make a bomb.
At a house in Southern California. My friend and I stand outside above a garage. A young brunette woman is with us. The owner of the house arrives in a white convertible. He is annoyed by the garage door that fails to open properly. I feel I may be held responsible for this. The frame around the door flexes and the door finally pushes through. Above the door is a flimsy wall. The man shakes the wall like he is figuring out how he will fix it. I look at the wall wobbling and say "Two or three problems could be fixed if the wall could be fixed."
Walking up Holmes Street around 60th. The man in the convertible drives up the hill. My friend drives in the same direction in another white car. I am worried my friend does not know the man is just ahead of him and that my friend will be spotted. This would be bad because my friend is still up to something. Probably the bomb.
Walking on Holmes Street with my friend and the woman. We are at a training session for teachers. I briefly put my arm around the woman's waist. She feels like someone's wife. We flirt but the union is forbidden.
In a classroom. An old teacher talks about failure and how we should not mock it. Those of us in this class are successful, but there is going to be some failure at the school that the teacher knows about but that we do not. I leave the room and walk to my first class. I realize I have no pen and paper.
Jewels
At an academic institution. I have a box of jewels that includes Connie's ring. I discover some of the jewels are missing. I am about to call campus police but stop. I am embarrassed I left the jewels where they were easy to steal.
In a parked car talking on the phone to Connie. I get a sudden urge to check on the ring. I tell Connie I have to go because I must talk to my mother. She starts to complain. I say "fuck you" and check the jewel box. The ring is missing.
There is a safe in my room. I did not use because I do not know the combination or how the safe works.
Walking down Mass Street.
In a parked car talking on the phone to Connie. I get a sudden urge to check on the ring. I tell Connie I have to go because I must talk to my mother. She starts to complain. I say "fuck you" and check the jewel box. The ring is missing.
There is a safe in my room. I did not use because I do not know the combination or how the safe works.
Walking down Mass Street.
Broken down
With my girlfriend. Initially we are getting along but things deteriorate because I keep mudddling plans. A man asks me if I want to have lunch. I say sure but then Janelle reminds me we are having pizza.
Hungry. On a table there is half a pizza and half a blueberry pie. Justin says I should have a slice and that Jenny is here. The pizza is terrible. It has the consistency of cheap sliced bread.
In a car with my girlfriend. We drive around the same route twice. The road twists and undulates like a roller-coaster. Behind a white pick-up truck my girlfriend brakes late and nearly rear-ends it.
We pass a battered car that has broken down. Two guys that we met recently are living in it. We stop a short way beyond the battered car on a grassy plateau. At the bottom of the hill is a broken-down house. My girlfriend, the two guys in the battered car and I are moving into the house because we are broke. I had not realized the two guys were moving in too. This annoys me.
Our first night in the house there is to be a show. The guys ask me if I am playing. This worries me because I have booked a trip for December 23rd. I tell my girlfriend I am going to a review session for the class I am taking on General Relativity. The professor for the class is an old woman. There is no such review session. I am telling my girlfriend this because I do not want to move in with her.
Hungry. On a table there is half a pizza and half a blueberry pie. Justin says I should have a slice and that Jenny is here. The pizza is terrible. It has the consistency of cheap sliced bread.
In a car with my girlfriend. We drive around the same route twice. The road twists and undulates like a roller-coaster. Behind a white pick-up truck my girlfriend brakes late and nearly rear-ends it.
We pass a battered car that has broken down. Two guys that we met recently are living in it. We stop a short way beyond the battered car on a grassy plateau. At the bottom of the hill is a broken-down house. My girlfriend, the two guys in the battered car and I are moving into the house because we are broke. I had not realized the two guys were moving in too. This annoys me.
Our first night in the house there is to be a show. The guys ask me if I am playing. This worries me because I have booked a trip for December 23rd. I tell my girlfriend I am going to a review session for the class I am taking on General Relativity. The professor for the class is an old woman. There is no such review session. I am telling my girlfriend this because I do not want to move in with her.
Short-changed
In Vegas. When I get to my hotel room a party is in progress. I find I am sharing the room with two friends. The party irritates me but eventually it winds down. My friends get the two beds and I sleep on a table. I ask one of them why we are sharing a room. He tells me a long story about the hotel manager denying entry to someone using a wheelchair. I ask him if I am getting a discount on the room since I am sharing it and he tells me I am not.
The last day of my visit. I am annoyed that I have not yet played Omaha-8 at The Mirage. I figure I have enough time to play there for a while before I leave, but I have to return to my room with my suitcase. I get lost in a corridor and ask a housekeeping maid the quickest way to my room. She indicates a door. When I push it open I find it is a wooden slat at a diagonal to the corridor. It does not lead anywhere.
In my room. I find a plane ticket but it is not in my name. The name is that of one of my roommates. I look for my ticket.
In a cafe in Baldwin City with my suitcase. I am trying to get to Logan airport which is nearby. I worry how I will get to the airport since I do not have a car. I am about to leave but am getting some food: ice-cream and a chocolate biscuit of a type I recognize from childhood. The check-out woman is like a waitress in a Baltimore diner. She says "Mind if I take a tip to the bar?" I give her money. I am expecting change but get none. I shrug it off.
Looking at my watch wondering how I am going to get a cab.
The last day of my visit. I am annoyed that I have not yet played Omaha-8 at The Mirage. I figure I have enough time to play there for a while before I leave, but I have to return to my room with my suitcase. I get lost in a corridor and ask a housekeeping maid the quickest way to my room. She indicates a door. When I push it open I find it is a wooden slat at a diagonal to the corridor. It does not lead anywhere.
In my room. I find a plane ticket but it is not in my name. The name is that of one of my roommates. I look for my ticket.
In a cafe in Baldwin City with my suitcase. I am trying to get to Logan airport which is nearby. I worry how I will get to the airport since I do not have a car. I am about to leave but am getting some food: ice-cream and a chocolate biscuit of a type I recognize from childhood. The check-out woman is like a waitress in a Baltimore diner. She says "Mind if I take a tip to the bar?" I give her money. I am expecting change but get none. I shrug it off.
Looking at my watch wondering how I am going to get a cab.
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